hmm

so i haven't written for quite a while just because i have been really busy...unfortunately not with anything related to sugar life, well except for the gym lol....dunno why but have not received anything from McBudget which is really odd because i have no idea why...i mean we had developed a great connection and then it just stopped....he hasn't written anything for a week....so i guess he is out of the potential SD's list....

as for McSteamy...well things are doing good but he asked me to name the amount of the allowance which i would want to get....i really didn't know how much to ask and thought oh whatever and said 4000$ which now i understand that was too much just because we maybe won't be able to meet as often as wanted...but he was understanding and offered that he would give me somewhere around that sum before his vacation on january...oh i think i haven't mentioned about it....the thing is that on january i am free from studies and it's exactly when he is taking a vacation...doesn't it fit perfectly? anyway he said that if everything goes well he would love to take me with him on a tour around Europe....yay...i REALY hope everything will go well...although there would be a little problem - my mom....although we live in two different cities she still calls me at least three times a week...but if i will be somewhere in Europe she won't be able to get in touch with me, which means she might get the wrong idea like something bad has happened to me etc.....that's why i came up with an idea that i might say her that i have gotten myself a really rich boyfriend and later when the time comes i will tell her that he offers me a trip to dunno somewhere near to my country but somewhere where she can't reach me though....wouldn't be that far from truth actually....:D but she definitely would never understand or even accept the fact that her daughter is something even near a sugar baby, i think she wouldn't never talk to me again and i am really not joking.....so i have to lie...not that it would be the first time since i am quite a wild spirit and i had to get through teenage years partying without being caught...i am quite a good actress..:p

oh and apart from other new potentials there is one really potentially potential SD....quite an impressive net worth, polite and nice personality, lives near me....BUT......he is married...i have always had a really strict no cheating policy in my relationships so now i am in quite a controversy with myself....dunno....we'll see....

but for now i have to prepare for tomorrow's exam in law....ugh hate that subject, why the hell do students need to know the theory of law if they are studying marketing and advertisement?!?!

ugh.....so for now...bye ;)

so far so good....

so today i received a letter from McSteamy...he had been very busy for these last couple days so he wasn't able to reply....but basicly what he said in his letter was that he loved my photo which i sent him(ofcourse, i looked damn hot in it) and gave me loads of compliments...basicly he wants to know when and where i would like to meet him and "What would be my ideal arrangement?"...honestly i don't know what to say because i haven't confirmed anything with McBudget about next week and the holiday time.....

i am quite in a dilemma right now....like personally i like McSteamy and would love to spend the most time with him rather than with McBudget...but then again i really need money right now and can't afford to be egoistic about things like looks etc....i should more concentrate on the bigger allowance source....

today i thought quite a while about that if i should have more than one sugar daddy...i don't know if i could combine my studies with 2 sugar daddies...but still....wouldn't it be great if i could have the larger sum of money from McBudget and a smaller allowance from McSteamy with whom i would enjoy every minute of it...?

but actually i don't know these two men in person yet so can't judge if i would or wouldn't be able to enjoy their company....so far i think that McBudget has a really nice personality but as for McSteamy...he's hot....but from profession he is a psychiatrist...dunno how i could deal with that... lol

we'll see...ok i am really tired cuz i just came back from the gym where i did a really good job today....worked out like an animal....well i want to look my best so....but for now bye sugar community, I have to get my beauty sleep... :)

looks promising...

so on other sugar blogs i have noticed that they usually give their SDs nicknames which is actually more convenient.....so remember the guy who was my favourite one....the one who i was attracted to but not with the big budget...i think i might call him McSteamy (yeah just like in Grey's Anatomy)just because he really is hot.....although i don't know why but it has been quite quiet with him....last time we spoke we exchanged photos via emails...i mean i don't think my photo could be at fault cuz it was really hot but sophisticated as well(not like trashy, cheap hot etc)....previously he answered to my mails really fast no matter at what time i sent them....hm strange....but still hope it' s just because he is really busy cuz i would love him to be my SD...

and then there was the other potential SD with the really big budget...but without any attraction from my side...i will call him McBudget.....so he is currently on a business trip somewhere in south of Europe and wrote me a really long email which honestly swept me a little bit of my feet....i have to admit that his offers and everything of what he said sounded so damn tempting...i might wanna pay more attention to him i think....cuz well that would be one hell of an arrangement with him....in his last email he said that i should name the exact date and he would arrange it so that he could come to meet me here....i haven't decided yet but i think i will go with some day from the next week....

which means going to gym this week...i mean i want to look my very best for McBudget so that everything goes smooth and i maybe even might have found my basicly  main SD...wow that would be so great - to start new year as a real already spoiled SB.....sounds good...

ok, don't know if anybody is even reading this but if you are then stay tuned...i will definitely keep you updated on what i decide and how it goes... ;)

this is it...

                                                                                                                                                                          Ok, i have been exchanging some emails with potential SDs...but honestly i have tons of questions like where and how the first meeting should go, what to say and to do and what not...when should i start with talking about my needed allowance....on which date is it ok to have sex etc.....

i think i should choose a SD who has experience in this and could lead me into the sugar life...i am a quick learner so i will get around it really quickly...

now about the potential SDs....well there is one SD who is my favourite of all of the SDs who have written me so far...he is 33 years old and quite attractive if i may say so...i mean i actually am attracted to him because despite his age he keeps himself in a  really good shape....not that 33 is quite old but still...but ofcourse there is a catch....he isn't as wealthy as other potential SDs....although as long as he can afford "spoiling me" it's not my business how he manages his budget...

oh and there is this other candidate who is a lot wealthier but.......from appearance totally no attraction...although he seems like a nice, interesting person...just like a real sugar daddy...the type of man who would really take care of you in every way needed...

i think i could arrange my meetings somewhere between christmas and new year because i will definitely spend christmas with my family but new year's eve i actually could spend with my SD in one of the big cities of Europe...like Paris for example...mmm...that has always been one of my dreams to celebrate new year in Paris....uhh...that's one of the factors why i joined the sugar movement...it helps your dreams to come true!

p.s. as i know i could never tell all  of this "second life" of mine to any of my friends or family, i felt quite uneasy...but it changed when i recently met an old and really close friend of mine..she is most open-minded and down-to-earth person of all of my friends......so i decided if anyone could accept my decision about this and support me then it must be her...and i was right...not only she accepted my decision, she now wants to join as well....yey...i mean it feels so good to talk with somebody about this and if we both are going to do this then it would be so great to share my feelings/experiences with smb who's dealing with the same thing... :))

i am back as a sugar baby wannabe...

well i was gone for approximately a month.....that's because i was doubting my decision about all this escort or sugar baby/daddy thing.....I even have received couple messages on this sugar site called seeking arrangements.....when i looked it up on the internet it turned out to be the most popular and best site for sugar daddies and babies...it was even shown and discussed on Letterman's show as well as on ABC news....."interesting" i thought......

so i have now made up my mind...i will be doing this...but no escort or callgirl thing...i decided that it's just too low for me...i will try to go for being a sugar baby....ofcourse these so called mutually beneficial relationships include having sex as well but it's not like just lain sex and plain money....it's more like a relationship...the sugar daddy takes care of his baby and spoils/pampers her or whatever you might call it....

i guess for me the best ones will be who will want to go on trips together, spend time together on holidays etc....cuz i have studying to do for the university and the fact that i live in a country which isn't actually near to any of the big sugar daddy residences like norway, germany, france etc (from that you can figure out that i do live somewhere in europe)...

ok now i have edited my profile with what i am like and what am i looking for...uploaded 2 photos in which my face can't be seen....(just a precaution so that in any case i stay anonymous)

I am going to join the sugar family hopefully soon, so wish me luck....

theme song

those who have seen the "Ally McBeal" tv show will know what I am talking about...when I couple months ago finished watching the first season (have seen it about a hundred times but still love it) I started to think about what my theme song could be....well for Ally it was "Tell him" by Vonda Shepard...it suited her perfectly...but for me? I mean the principles should be the same...the kind of song which gives you energy and confidence, makes you smile while listening to it and go faster while walking on the street...

at that time I thought that ok, it looked great and possible in a tv show, but can't be possible in real life....I mean it's just a song and knowing my tendency to loose my interest in things very fast.... besides every situation needs different kind of stimulation, so different kind of songs....and even if I would find one, on days when I am in a really horrible mood, one song can't size my day, make my mood go from minuses to +100%...or can it?

guess what...damn right it can...and it did....it was somewhere three days later when I heard this song on the radio and fell in love with it imediately...it actually has all those features which I mentioned earlier...I have been listening to it for about 4 months and still it has the same energetic, optimistic, explosive effect on me as it had the first time....even on very crappy days, which I thought wasn't possible....:)

P.S.I actually forgot to mention the name of the song...it's "Destination" by Leonid Rudenko...Love, love, LOVE it!

my abroad suprise....

in my previous post i mentioned that i have to write about a story from my past....it was related to the topic about sleeping with smb who you don't find attractive....

it was one and a half a year ago, although it all actually started two years ago....on one of those international meeting sites, where you can find penpals or friends or for some smth even more serious, i met a guy...he was from a different country which wasn't that far away but not couple of hours away either....so we started chatting and the more i found out about him the more we found out that we share similar interests and opinions about lots of stuff...at some point i doubted that it is even possible that two people, who are from different countries and have never met in real life, could get along so great even after a half year of non stop chatting....i am not saying that he is a perfect guy but it was his personality which perfectly matched my....

after 6 months of chatting ofcourse we decided to meet in real life...god, how nervous i was that day when he was about to come here to my city, country(better won't name it out of precociousness)...ofcourse i had had a manicure, done my hair and bought new clothes and lingerie.....i have to admit myself that i looked stunning that day...i remember how nervous i was that day when i woke up, but then i thought about it a little and came to a conclusion that actually i have nothing to be nervous about(or afraid) cuz basicly i had known him for half a year, i knew what he looked like and as good as an actor you might be, you can't pretend to be smb else every day for half a year....so i went to meet him fearless and confident...the only nervousness i felt was out of excitement....so there i was waiting at the international bus station, when i cought a sight of a big bus on which was written the name of the country which he's from....well i admit, for a second my heart did start to beat like crazy and my whole confidence was gone....but only for a second, cuz when he finally got off the bus i was....well i think the right word would be shocked.....i mean i know that you can improve your picture and looks with photoshop, but honestly....that much improving?!....i am not saying that he was hideous or really ugly but well....don't think that i am shallow but i have to say that in real life i would most probably not consider him as a potential boyfriend or even hook-up....so there i was, standing totally shocked...but then i reminded myself what a great personality he has and how much i like him...so we spent the afternoon walking/sightseeing...then the night came with a decision to make- weather he stays overnight or takes the last bus home...he stayed ofcourse and we spent a night together...it was then when i discovered that although i was totally not attracted to him physically, i could still sleep with him without any i don't know, doubts or antipathy...however it turned out that except for his personality, his looks wasn't the only thing that was an turn off....maybe it was because he was nervous or not very experienced or whatever, but he definitely sucked in bed....

afterwards he ofcourse went back home on the next day but wanted to definitely meat again as soon as possible...he wanted us to be more than friends, but i on the other hand didn't...well yeah i really liked him as a person but for me it is important in a relationship to have that chemistry not only while talking but in bed as well....he couldn't except it so i totally broke off all connections with him...